Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Dream that became a Reality....

       I remember the stress and effort I put into my first college application.  I worked on it for weeks before I finally sent it off to Furman--a school that I believed was the place I could learn my destiny.  Furman had always been my number one choice, in fact although I applied to other schools I did not have a back up plan to the many questions I ask myself today.  What if I don't get? What if it isn't everything I thought it would be? What if the students are not nice? Can I handle being away from home?  On mailing day none of those questions mattered because that is where I saw myself in the next four years.  December 15th came and I recieved my letter; I was beyond excitied when I recieved my acceptance letter.  From that moment on I focused on what my new life would be like when I got to Furman.  I was for sure that I was making the right decision and that I would love it just as much as my family had. 
        So that was nine months ago and people ask me all the time do you love it? Are you happy there?  Well the answer to those questions is yes I love it, and yes I am happy here, but all my happiness does not come from here. I never imagined that God would give me a best friend over the summer, and when I say best friend I mean the greatest person I could have imagined.  God does crazy things that just rock my mind because I would have never seen Leah and I becoming best friends, but God knew that I would need her in more ways than one.  The reason I was so excitied about school before was because for the first time I was going to get to start over with no expectations and I had nothing to hold onto or nothing holding me back.  That is not the best way to live I know!  These past two years I have experienced a lot of mishaps, let downs, and death.  I had lost myself and God wasn't first on my to do list.  Leah changed the way I looked at things dramatically, and God put this new energy inside of me that gives me the desire to live for him and no one else.  So as the summer progressed I lived in fear and worry that I was going to lose my best friend and my fire for God because I wasn't around people that believed the same way I did.  There were so many days that I simply prayed to God that he would stop time because I did not want to move on from were I was in that moment. 
     August 20th came and it was finally move in day, I was so emotional because of several reasons:  1.) I was finally accomplishing something that loads of people said that I would never do. 2.) Happy because its Furman and I did it! 3.) Sad because I was going to have to say goodbye to the bestest friend I could ever have, and 4.) Angry because I still don't understand why things happened the way they did.  I guess if you have read this far, you are wondering where does that leave me now? Will I return to Furman or will I go somewhere else, and the only answer I can give you is that I am listening to God more and more now than I ever have because it is in his will that I learn my destiny!  In the mean time I am doing my best to learn, get involved, and have fun at Furman.  This blog is going to be to a place to capture every crazy moment that I get into while I am here or anywhere else while I am persuing my degree.  My life is never dull so check in...
   Forever and Always,