Sunday, February 13, 2011

Amazing stunts + unfortunate circumstances = a week full of boring o and a concussion

Cheerleading is the best part of my day so when I was faced with the dilemma of having to take a break from what I loved, I had no idea how to handle the situation. I was diagnosed with a concussion last Wed, Feb 2. I did not want to go to the hospital because I knew enough to know that if I had a concussion, they would have to contact my parents, coach, and then I would have to take a break from cheerleading. Relentlessly I went to the hospital, and the doctor confirmed that I did have a concussion, and that I would have to take a break from cheering. This seemed crazy to me because coming up that week I had five games I needed to attend and two major practice. The team was depending on me, and I could not let them down. For the next three days I rested, trying to not think about the game or workouts that I was missing. I drove my friends crazy while I was at school because I was really restless to run and workout again. I went home for the weekend, to insure that I was resting and not doing anything that would put me out of cheerleading any longer. Monday night I was seen by the doctor, and I was for sure that the weekend of doing nothing would cure me and that he would clear me. When he didn't clear me, I was super upset. On Wed, I took the inPACT test which a series of test that test your memory, how fast your brain processes information, and your reaction time. After the test they checked me for more symptoms. This past Thursday I was allowed to workout for twenty minutes, and my mood changed almost instantly. I could finally see the end coming, and things would return to normal. Friday I went back to Sports Medicine with high hopes that they would clear me. But once again they did not because I did not do well on the inPACT test, but they allowed to me to take it again that day. So after I took the test, I awaited the phone call that would tell me whether or not I would cheer at one of the biggest games of the season, coming up Saturday. Well at 5:37 I received the phone call that I had been sort of cleared, meaning I can cheer again but no stunting or tumbling. At that point I could not even complain because I had missed cheering so much.
Saturday evening, after I went through the game appreciating every moment I had as a cheerleader, I wondered why all of this happened in the beginning, what did I learn from it. Now I think it is that I did not appreciate it as much as I should. Cheering has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I believe that in a way I was just seeing it as something I can always turn to, and it will always be there. Well this isn't true, and I know have seen from personal experience. Cheerleading was given to me, I don't deserve it. I am thankful that I had the time off to do other things I love such as play the piano, see my best friend, and see that people really care about me. As I continue the rest of the season, I have this new found appreciation for the team I am a part of, the integrity we have as a whole, the talent God has given me, the strength I found, and the passion of doing what I love. For everyone that helped me get back to my normal self thank you :)

Saturday, January 22, 2011

A note from above...

So as you can see from my recent blogs I have not been my usual carefree, happy self. Last night, I was in a funk mood where all I wanted to do was sit in my room and do nothing. Girls on my hall where doing and independent outing, and so after much deliberation in my head, I decided that I should go and get away from campus for just a little bit. We decided on Ruby Tuesdays, and I enjoyed my dinner very much. While I was a dinner, I received a text message from my aunt of whom I haven't talked to in like two weeks...that is dumb on my part because I miss that family very much. The text message said, "I believe I am always divinely guided. I believe I will always take the right turn of the road. I believe God will always make a way when their is no way." I had no idea why she was sending me that when there was no way she could have known what was going on with me right now. I sent a reply message that just said wow, because those words where exactly what I needed to hear right now. Her reply message is what really shocked me, she had found those words in my nana's writings.
My nana passed away a little over a year ago, she was someone that I looked to and I wanted her to see me graduate and be a doctor, just like we had talked about. But God had different plans for her life and mine. Last night when I received those messages, I just knew that she was with me, and so was God. He had used my aunt to send me that message, to back up the fact that HE IS ALWAYS there for us. I am learning slowly that God knows what he is doing, and that my life is something I need to control. My week is looking better and better everyday. God has given me great friends and a great family that continue to have my best interest at heart. I love you all very much :)

Monday, January 17, 2011

Rush...Greek is Good

    "Going Greek," an expression used when referring to rushing or joining a sorority. In most colleges sororities have certain stereotypes that I have tried to avoid my entire life. When I arrived at Furman, I had no expectation of joining a sorority. I started meeting loads of ladies that are in sororities, and that changed everything. I was hooked, and I was so excited to finally be in a sorority, get a jersey, have a new set of sisters. One sorority in particular was what I really wanted...KD. I could see myself fitting in there, most of the cheerleaders where in KD, and it juts made sense. So I applied for RUSH, and waited for the first semester. Over the Christmas break I anxiously got outfits prepared for the four rounds of rush. After Christmas break, the girls on my hall and I looked at each others outfits, and we were all really excited.
     Friday, January 14 each AZ group meet to go over the process of Round 1. I was super stressed out about RUSH, because I knew I needed to be perfect in order to get invited back to KD. My stress continued to build from December until Round one. Round one was this past Saturday, and during Round one you simply go around and talk to ladies in each sorority. I had so much fun, I forgot my nerves once I got through the first sorority which happened to be KD. After I finished all of the groups something changed. I was struggling with a decision that I knew needed to be made as soon as possible.
That night at ten o' clock we had to meet in Hipp Hall to get our invites back. Well I had my mind made up before I even got into the room. Everyone sat down, my AZs went over the bid cards, and handed out our invitation. I looked at my invitation while everyone else was writing down which sororities they want to go back to. I opened mine, didn’t have a problem with what I saw, but I had already made my decision. Everyone turned in their bid cards, and I asked to speak with one of my AZ leaders. I began to explain to her that I was wanting to withdraw from RUSH. She didn't ask why, and at the moment I didn't want to tell her. I actually only told very few people why I decided to withdraw. But here it is...the main reason I decided to withdraw from recruitment. That day and for weeks before Round one even, I stressed over what the girls were going to think of me, and would I be good enough to be a part of their selected group? Something clicked when I was sitting there, something told me that I didn’t need anyone to tell me that I was good enough or that I could be long with them. I was just fine with where I was, and I could still meet people other ways.
     As soon as I made my decision I felt totally at peace, which is the reason I know I made the right decision. Yes, I did cry...a lot actually. The rest of the night was spent with me being really upset and not understand why things where happening the way they were. The next morning though I was completely fine, my friends have helped me through this and the other disastrous things that have happened to me this week.
     For those of you that are going through recruitment best of luck to you, I am sure that you are going to find the perfect group that you belong to. I did not write this to bash recruitment because overall I had a really positive experience. And I know now that you should not always listen to stereotypes because there are GREAT girls in sororities at Furman, It's not for everyone though.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The first semester in one blog...

I haven't written a new blog in a really long time, and for that I am sorry.  I have been super busy tryingto figure out if I am were I am suppose to be.  For those of you that read my last blog and are anxiously awaiting the answer to whether or not I am still at Furman, I AM STILL HERE!!! I have fallen in love with Furman.  I was contemplating leaving because I could not let go of the life I had at home, but as soon as I stepped out of my comfort zone and branched out I found really great people.  At the end of December I faced some serious problems with being able to return to Furman for second semester because of financial problems.  I actually only told just a few people that I may not be returning because I just could not face the reality that I may not becoming back to a place that I really love.  For the two days that people began to leave  I was an emotional wreck, and tried my best to just be thankful for the time that I had with them.  I had prayed so much, and I was starting to lose faith that God was going to answer my prayers, which is really embarrassing to say but thats what was happening.  I did not really feel like I had a purpose to trying anymore.  God, of course, knew exactly what he was doing.  I should have never doubted him.  Over christmas break I recieve my miracle from God.  My mom recieved a phone call that changed everything.  Apon realizing that once again God had done something so great for me.  I realized that he was going to be there through anything.  I learned a lot from this experience:
1.  I need to be more thankful for the things and experiences I get to have because I deserve nothing.
2.  I am blessed for the things that I have and the things that I don't.
3.  God is ALWAYS going to be here for me, even when I think I am walking alone, he is always there.
4.  Furman is where I belong, God proved that for me over the break.
5.  People actually care,
So I am back at Furman, and I am trying to appreciate every moment that comes along because I know that I am a blessed girl to have such great friends and a place to get a great education. 

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The Dream that became a Reality....

       I remember the stress and effort I put into my first college application.  I worked on it for weeks before I finally sent it off to Furman--a school that I believed was the place I could learn my destiny.  Furman had always been my number one choice, in fact although I applied to other schools I did not have a back up plan to the many questions I ask myself today.  What if I don't get? What if it isn't everything I thought it would be? What if the students are not nice? Can I handle being away from home?  On mailing day none of those questions mattered because that is where I saw myself in the next four years.  December 15th came and I recieved my letter; I was beyond excitied when I recieved my acceptance letter.  From that moment on I focused on what my new life would be like when I got to Furman.  I was for sure that I was making the right decision and that I would love it just as much as my family had. 
        So that was nine months ago and people ask me all the time do you love it? Are you happy there?  Well the answer to those questions is yes I love it, and yes I am happy here, but all my happiness does not come from here. I never imagined that God would give me a best friend over the summer, and when I say best friend I mean the greatest person I could have imagined.  God does crazy things that just rock my mind because I would have never seen Leah and I becoming best friends, but God knew that I would need her in more ways than one.  The reason I was so excitied about school before was because for the first time I was going to get to start over with no expectations and I had nothing to hold onto or nothing holding me back.  That is not the best way to live I know!  These past two years I have experienced a lot of mishaps, let downs, and death.  I had lost myself and God wasn't first on my to do list.  Leah changed the way I looked at things dramatically, and God put this new energy inside of me that gives me the desire to live for him and no one else.  So as the summer progressed I lived in fear and worry that I was going to lose my best friend and my fire for God because I wasn't around people that believed the same way I did.  There were so many days that I simply prayed to God that he would stop time because I did not want to move on from were I was in that moment. 
     August 20th came and it was finally move in day, I was so emotional because of several reasons:  1.) I was finally accomplishing something that loads of people said that I would never do. 2.) Happy because its Furman and I did it! 3.) Sad because I was going to have to say goodbye to the bestest friend I could ever have, and 4.) Angry because I still don't understand why things happened the way they did.  I guess if you have read this far, you are wondering where does that leave me now? Will I return to Furman or will I go somewhere else, and the only answer I can give you is that I am listening to God more and more now than I ever have because it is in his will that I learn my destiny!  In the mean time I am doing my best to learn, get involved, and have fun at Furman.  This blog is going to be to a place to capture every crazy moment that I get into while I am here or anywhere else while I am persuing my degree.  My life is never dull so check in...
   Forever and Always,